Finding, Fixing and Forgiving Your 'Popsicle Memories' this Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate all the wonderful moms in our lives, show gratitude for the sacrifices they make and the unconditional love that they show us.

For many people, however, Mother’s Day can be a difficult day that resurfaces painful memories. Perhaps your mother has passed on and you grieve for her. Perhaps you do not have a great relationship with your mother and maybe, despite her best attempts, you can’t get over the pain from things she has said or done. Perhaps you long to be a mother and are struggling because that dream is not becoming a reality.

Your memories can either be the most powerful nonphysical power source or power drain in your being because your memories control your physical being. In fact, I would say that 98 percent of the basic bodily processes you need to keep living, like the simple act of breathing, are controlled by your unconscious mind, which is what Solomon in the Bible calls the spiritual heart.

Any physical, emotional or mental issue you have originates from the spiritual heart. As Solomon says in Proverbs, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

I’ve written before about cellular memories and how they affect your well being. Whether you feel happy or sad, positive or negative, energetic or lethargic, is determined by your memories, including ones passed down by generations. 

Unhealed memories cause stress that can drain our energy, keep us in dysfunctional relationships and suppress our immune systems. Scientists have proven that our memories are stored not just in our brains, but throughout our bodies as cellular memories. Pain, trauma, failure and hurt you’ve experienced can exist in your unconscious mind and memories for years.

As we approach Mother’s Day, I want to share a story about a client and her relationship with her mother that illustrates the powerful, and sometimes negative, hold memories can have on us.

I like to call this client the popsicle lady. She had a terrific mother and a good childhood by most standards, but there had always been something between them. It bothered her because she couldn’t figure it out and neither could her mom.

After months of working with her, we FINALLY figured it out. When she was 5 years old her mom gave her sister a popsicle one day at lunchtime. Her mother wouldn’t give her a popsicle because her sister had eaten her lunch and she had not. Well, you can imagine what happened. She threw a temper tantrum because she didn’t get a popsicle and her sister did.

Now this is a pretty harmless event and I’m willing to bet a fairly common “traumatic” experience for a kid. For a 5-year-old, however, this is the sort of memory that can take hold in your subconscious and chip away over the years. I call these popsicle memories. That memory is literally alive in your subconscious -- your unconscious mind treats it as if it is live and happening in the present and not 30 years ago, but the original memory is viewed from the viewpoint of when it happened. And in her case, it was from a 5-year-old throwing a temper tantrum.

Her deep-seated issues that took root revolved around her sister enjoying the popsicle in front of her and her mom not giving her one. As a 5-year-old her perception was that sister got a popsicle and mom didn’t give me one because she doesn’t love me as much as sister. And that unfolds into, well if she doesn’t love me as much as my sister, there must be something is wrong with me

This one innocuous event that any parent, adult any psychologist would look at and say well that is not the problem is totally the problem. The unconscious mind prioritizes trauma memories above every other memory. This is your mind’s way of keeping you from being healed because these trauma memories serve as an early defense warning system.

Throwing a temper tantrum as a child releases a river of adrenaline that throws your body into fight or flight mode and it is embedded into your cellular memories. You may forget about it, but it is buried deep within your subconscious.

If you want to get into more of the science behind this, you have five main frequencies of brain waves: Beta waves, Alpha waves, Theta waves, Delta waves and Gamma waves. During childhood, specifically the first six years of life, you live in a state of primarily Delta and Theta brain waves. You can’t reason with a child because they live in this state, which is a time of high creativity and imagination and little logical thought.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have popsicle memories. This year as a Mother’s Day present to your mom, to you and your kids, do some soul searching and find and fix your popsicle memories related to mom. Your relationship with your mom will improve significantly.

Resolve to not only solve these popsicle memories but any other issues you know of that hinder your relationship with your mom and resolve to strengthen your relationship with your mother on Mother’s Day and beyond!

As you prepare for Mother's Day, here are a few codes around specific issues related to this very close relationship. 

Grief/loss of mother.
HC2: Left hand high bridge, right hand under belly button.
Left hand temple, right hand Adam’s apple.

Rotate every twenty seconds for five minutes as needed.

Broken relationship with mother/unmet needs/abuse.
HC2: Left hand brain stem, right hand under belly button.
HC2: Left hand brain stem, right hand high bridge.

Rotate every twenty seconds for five minutes as needed.

Motherhood delayed or denied.
HC2: Both hands brain stem.
HC2: Both hands high bridge

Rotate every twenty seconds for five minutes as needed.