The Hero Paradox

Quick, don’t think, just answer. What’s easier: being decent, or being a hero? Being decent, right? Obviously. But then, I’m sure most of us would describe ourselves as decent people… and I bet you don’t think of your life as easy! So how hard is the alternative. The answer still isn’t easy… but it might surprise you.

First of all, I think we need to talk about that word: hero. After all, if I’m claiming some sort of authority on the subject, then the implication is that I consider myself to be one, which seems awfully cocky, doesn’t it? But the classic archetypes: war heroes, firemen, astronauts, etc., are all examples of physical heroism. Worth celebrating, absolutely! But is that the only kind?

To me, heroism means self-sacrifice, out of love and goodness of the heart, no matter the circumstances. As for myself, all I dare say is that I’m trying. But trying is the important thing, I think.

Which brings me to my main point: I think decency is such a struggle because we were intended to live by heroism. Think about this: our thoughts and beliefs define our actions, and this includes our perspectives on those beliefs. How they are subconsciously “phrased,” you might say. Implicitly, decency is about meeting minimums. What we owe to each other has been the great philosophical question for centuries. And drawing those lines is difficult, and controversial, and seems to screw someone over no matter how carefully you do it.

But don’t we all want to be more than just decent? When you were a child, you did not daydream about being a basically inoffensive person, did you? No, deep down, I think we all want to live heroic lives, whatever that means for our specific life circumstances.

What’s fascinating is that there is a great potential here, with trust and a bit of faith, to resolve many of the relational problems that follow from the concept of owing each other. If you’re really committed to living in this way, then while you will certainly still be accountable for all your actions, the only true responsibility you have for yourself is that you’re trying to give your all. Now, you must be sincere in the attempt. But if you really are giving it your best, then you can’t very well give it more.

Essentially, what we’re talking about is a life philosophy founded on internal reality rather than external debts. Worth thinking about, I think.

Have a blessed, wonderful day!

Dr. Alex Loyd