Your addiction is not about the addiction
Habits and addiction are keys to where we once were, where we are now, and where we (someday) aim to be.
I would say that around 30-40 percent of my clients have found what I am about to share with you to be the key to real change in their lives.
Maybe today will be the key for you.
Last week I spoke about the big 5’s- Galatians 5 and Matthew 5- and how God’s plan for success and happiness comes from finding joy regardless of our circumstances.
When we experience shame, guilt, or sin, we feel captive to our desires and addictions; in other words, we are not following God’s plan for our success and happiness. Only by following God’s plan can we finally find the strength to break free.
The problem is, many of us are afraid of what we might find on the other side and this fear can prevent us from having the trust and faith to let go. However, It is a necessary process if we ever want to release ourselves from captivity of the flesh.
If I look at God’s plan, I feel assured that I will live in peace, love, and joy. I will nurture my relationships, want the best for those around me, and feel I can trust to let go.
However, If I am punishing myself and living in negativity, I am not going to be able to banish those addictions or trust in God’s plan.
But is there a definitive right or wrong when it comes to making our life choices? And if there isn’t, how do we choose which way to go?
The first answer is to pray, but we also need to consider if the answer feels wrong.
This is where our circumstances become important. We have to be guided by our own personal truth, even if someone else might be guided in a different direction under the same circumstances.
Scripture says that if something feels wrong for you, it is.
So, how do we discern that feeling?
We need to get to a place of healing so that we can trust ourselves to listen and hear accurately.
For me (personally), when Satan speaks, it normally sounds like my own voice guiding me towards lust. It could be anything from alcohol to bad food, but it is always physical.
Instead, we need to turn those thoughts towards prayer and positivity, ask for help from God, and listen.
We can do this by spending more time in our spiritual place, rather than in mind and body. Often, addictions and habits manifest by relapsing into a physical place.
I would like you to consider how much of your day is spent in a spiritual, physical, or mental place and then put a percentage against each one.
The physical space is where our habits and addictions materialize- think drugs, alcohol, lust; this is anything physically pleasurable for the body.
The mental space is typically where our conscious mind and emotions sit.
Our spiritual place, however, is our center of love, joy, and peace. It is also where we can access our four steps to living in success:
These are:
- Love
- Intention for good
- Do your absolute best
- Invest in your relationships.
I would like you to rate your spiritual, physical, and mental experiences on a good, average, and negative day, and notice any patterns of behavior around each.
Because, here is the big reveal...
The secret to habits and addiction is that it isn’t about the habit or addiction at all.
The real cause of depression has been discovered and it’s not what you think!
The real cause of addiction has been discovered and it’s not what you think!
Scientific research shows us that disease manifests from negative energy that is held by the body and formed from negative memories and experiences.
These often form an untruth that lead us to believe a lie about an aspect of ourselves and/or our lives, and our beliefs can even shape our memories.
This cycle determines how we feel, what we say, and what we do.
Here are some pretty hard hitting figures.
Did you know that 1 in 10 people have a major addiction? Of those people, 75 percent never receive help and of the 25 percent that do, 1 in 10 say it helped, while 9 in 10 say it didn’t.
From this, there is also a 99 percent relapse rate!
What is more shocking is that 70 percent of people blame themselves and 75 percent of women won’t tell a soul what is happening.
Unfortunately, most habits or addictions have the power to control people’s entire lives and most will spend their entire lives saying nothing.
6 in 10 people in the world are trying to break a habit at any given moment and 9 in 10 people won’t ever succeed. What is more, we can say that 100 percent of people will suffer from a negative habit over the course of their lifetime.
What is yours?
What do you want to do about it?
We need to find out the truth about whatever is affecting us to create real change.
More often than not, we are reaching for love substitutes. In other words, we’re not addicted to chocolate, sex, porn, or alcohol, we are addicted to what they provide us- a big smack of dopamine.
We want great, meaningful, intimate relationships. And when we cannot find them? We look for instant gratification instead.
One way of finding the truth in these moments is by asking yourself what you actually want when you’re reaching for your addiction.
Do I actually want it or am I substituting?
Am I feeling pain?
Am I trying to experience quick pleasure?
Instant versus delayed gratification is the very difference between success and failure, happiness or sadness. When we require an instant dopamine hit, we are far more likely to receive a negative outcome.
Delayed gratification is reflected in our success because it is the difference between the ‘real thing’ and the trick substitution supplied by the chemicals of the brain.
I suggest using the four steps as your filters when deciding what choices to make in life.
Staying in a spiritual place for longer periods of the day can also help quiet the brain for long enough to bring your truth to the surface.
This is when you can work out what you actually need and will help you differentiate between the instant and the delayed- the real and the substitute.
Try to also seek help from God and live in his plan- this is where we find success, joy, and happiness (regardless of our circumstances.)
How are you doing?
Give God a chance to help first, then see how we can help you.
Have a blessed, wonderful day!
Alex Loyd
